Posted in Lessons He Taught Me, Things That Make My Brain Happy

Connected

Something I like about writing is the time I’m able to take, reflecting on my life and processing the ways God has been blessing me. For me, writing is another way I spend time with God. Going on outdoor runs is another way I connect with him.  As I listen to music reminding me of his promises and run through beautiful terrain that has his “fingerprints” all over it, I’m praising him.  I’m keenly aware that he’s with me.  There’s so much evidence in the trees, mountains, the rain and the rainbows, the sun showers that I’ve run through thanking him because he knows how much I love them. He’s smiling down at me as I’m smiling and looking up to Him, praising Him for giving me rest for my soul, filling me with light especially as I do these 2 things.

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In what ways do you feel even more connected to Him than normal? You’ll know what they are when you look forward to it each day.

Posted in Lessons He Taught Me

A Change In Plans

It has been a very long time since I have written a blog post. I can hardly believe how long I’ve gone since sitting down to write. According to WordPress, the last day I posted something was on April 15th. Wow!
Today, is another rainy day in NY and I am finding it very soothing and peaceful. After a long stressful week at work, I am enjoying this time to recuperate in solitude. It is so, so nice. I don’t know about you, but I love listening to the rain as I write. I had to open my kitchen window before making myself comfortable on the couch so I could hear that cathartic sound. It makes me so aware of God and nature close by that my body just naturally relaxes. If you would have asked me at eighteen, if I’d one day get up at 6:30 on a Saturday morning to enjoy some time to myself, I would have said, “Heck no!” In those days, I’d sleep in until eleven. It’s interesting how we all end up doing a lot of the things we believed we’d never do, but, hey, we weren’t parents yet. How could we know how nice it is to do things without so many distractions? To just sit and be quiet in our thoughts? Priceless!

When I woke up this morning and read that a couple of events I was planning to participate in were canceled, I was initially a little disappointed. I had plans to go hiking with the women’s group from church and I’m just so happy to have some new people to go hiking with. I love meeting new people and I love hiking in new places. There are so many beautiful places to explore. God definitely gave me the heart of an outdoorsy person who thrives on adventure and exploring the wonders of what he’s created. And it is so much fun to do with other people who are equally in awe. I guess, it will just have to wait for another time. I’m seeing the beauty in being lead in another direction for this day. Time to rest is a good thing. This Saturday is a true blessing from God.

Psalm 29: 10,11 “The Lord sits enthroned over the flood; the Lord is enthroned as King forever. The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.”

Posted in Lessons He Taught Me, Palpating Poetry

“I Am From” Poem

I am poem

For the template I used to write this poem, go to freeology.com. It will give you prompts to write certain things you remember about your childhood, details about your family history, smells, things you heard your family say over & over again in your growing up years. When you finish with that, you click on the create button and read your poem. I wrote it in my sketch pad & added some pictures that make me think of my Italian family. The lemon, slice of orange and a hard boiled egg (though in the picture it’s a fried egg–thought that would be easier to make out.) are a tradition my Great-Grandmother, Angelica, brought to America with her after she and her sister came to America as teenagers. My father keeps it going every year on Easter as a way to remember them and to acknowledge that in life, there’s sourness and sweetness. We all go through it. And then, God brings forth new beginnings.

Posted in Lessons He Taught Me, Mom Life

Complete

via Complete

I wasn’t going to write tonight, after spending a lot of time editing another post, but then I decided to search up posts about cancer–having a lot on my mind–and I found this title below:

“Cancer Is Completing My Life, Making It Whole”: The Blogging Journey of Julie Yip-Williams”

I started reading an excerpt from her blog and felt like someone’s hand was tightly squeezing my heart and throat. I thought I might break down in tears but the feeling just froze in place like I was holding my breath. I kept reading like a voracious animal that hadn’t eaten in days, wanting to understand her full journey from her perspective, hoping that it would help me to understand my own.

Just the title alone, I could relate to. Finding out you have cancer, whether it is the non-aggressive kind that I have which is said to move at a snail’s pace for most or the aggressive stage 4 colon cancer that this person had, really does complete your life in a way that would make most people wonder. It’s not exactly what people would shout joyously from the rooftops if cancer was a person. “You complete me!” is reserved for unrealistic romance movies not true life lessons.
Well, it completes your life like this. You never know if the cancer will be conquered by intense medical treatment, powerful prayer & the provision of God or if God will allow it to take it’s course teaching you a lot along the way and preparing you to meet Him face to face. It completes you because you do so much soul searching and leaning into God. You don’t put off things that God has been telling you to do anymore. You make time to do it because you understand that life is but a vapor. You could literally be here one day and not the next. You think about what kind of legacy you want to leave behind; how you want people to remember you. You want people to know that you love them and that you’re happy for their happiness; that you didn’t forget them. It completes you because you start to appreciate things differently instead of constantly rushing passed and somehow through that, you live fully. You take the time to smell the roses. And, I take the time to thank God for everything like the mountains after an energizing hike and a waterfall that mysteriously woke me up with it’s beauty and the way my daughter’s face lit up when she saw her completed birthday cake saying softly, “Wow, that’s really cool, Mom..”

Even though I don’t always feel good, in a lot of ways I live life more completely than people who criticize so much around them because I’m busy filling up my life with serving God and working on accomplishing things that will teach my daughter how important it is to do your best with fervor. To show her how important it is to fight your hardest out of love for your luvs. God gives me the drive to push when I’m tired but also reminds me to rest when it’s time to rest. Depending on Him so much, completes me. When I’m chasing love, I can learn the lessons God wants to teach me because I’m searching with everything in me.

You should read what Julie Yip-Williams had to say. She said it much better, being in the thick of it. https://julieyipwilliams.wordpress.com/2017/10/16/complete/

My own journey is really different than hers, of course.  I’m in stage 1A of Cutaneous T-cell Lymphoma and the majority of people diagnosed with CTCL live just as long as anyone else. I’m basically living with a chronic disease like other people that don’t have the word lymphoma in the name of their ailment. The word scares me and I’d like to give it away to a trash can but at the same time it’s forced me to make better choices and to lean into God even more. Experiencing His presence and that closeness is living life to the fullest.
The exhaustion is hard and so are the nights when the itchy skin is unbearable. I wish I could shed my skin & grow new healthy skin along with a healthy lymphatic system. I hate going to work so lethargic and not remembering things as quickly as I want to. I can get moody and sometimes I just want to be alone so people won’t think I’m an airhead or a grump. I am learning perseverance on a deeper level & trusting God to get me through, though. I know God is with me even when I’m too tired to smile and I don’t feel like I’m radiating his light like I want to. I’m more whole because I’m not neglecting my soul for things that don’t give me everlasting life.

I hope this blog post helps someone to feel a little less alone and to realize that even when a family member or friend is going through the biggest trial of their life, they can also be moving through the best parts of their life because God is completing them and if they’re a believer, they are likely feeling a connection with God that is quite beautiful & reassuring beyond words.

 

 

Posted in Lessons He Taught Me, Palpating Poetry, Photo Inspiration

Baptism

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Like each individual droplet of water in a waterfall

They gracefully free fall over the edge

Together

Creating something beautiful

With courage from within

With fear and trust at the center

Falling, colliding

Into something bigger than themselves.

Taking the ultimate plunge

Risking it all for the good

Melding together yet uniquely separate

In tandem with his radiant glory.

New life starts here at the end of yourself–

Standing at the brink of old life and new.

It takes certain strength to let go and fall into it.

Falling into his plan and stepping out of your own

Steals your breath.

Adventure seekers take note–

Don’t miss this

The everlasting waterfall

More breathtaking

Than you can fathom.


Posted in Happy Little Photos, Lessons He Taught Me, Mom Life

In My Shoes

If my daughter was in my shoes right now, this is what I would tell her,

IMG_1337“Everyone needs some time to themselves. It’s perfectly normal. People push our buttons sometimes and a little break to do your own thing is healthy. Most likely, it will improve the relationship you are feeling frustrated with. There’s no reason to feel guilty when you just don’t feel like talking. Or maybe you want to talk to someone else that you haven’t talked to in ages. Also, normal. We’re all so different from each other. There are things we like about people in our lives that draws us to them just as there are things about the same people we’re not crazy about. We just need to have grace for each other but also be honest with ourselves when we need to pull back. If we don’t do it, you’ll have to do damage repair later. Some people don’t take honesty well. They just want you to not feel how you feel and get over it immediately. Most people need time so you take the time you need and remember to give others time to themselves too when they feel hurt by you. If you don’t or if you do, it can make or break a relationship.

Limiting the time you spend with one person can also help. You have more to talk about later when you come back together. The energy you get from being with a variety of other people can breathe life into that relationship that sometimes gets a little strained. It also fosters more positive feelings and conversation.

What’s most important is being restored by God and having enough opportunities to be restored by Him! Your relationship with God is the most important relationship in your life. If there’s not enough time with Him for your personality type (and I need a lot of time with Him), it will affect your relationships with people because your patience for people will start to diminish. You might start saying the first thing on your mind. You might just throw the towel in out of frustration and miss them later. And, then, you’ll also remember God’s command to encourage one another and build them up, realizing that you didn’t do that because you leaned back on your own wisdom.

Take some time to yourself, Makayla, when you know you need to be restored. Try your best to tell whoever that person in your life is, that you need time to yourself and time with God. Pray beforehand that this person will understand it will benefit them, too. That they will love you enough to give you what you need and that they’ll be confident enough in the Lord to trust Him. You serve God first and foremost. This is what you need to focus on. God’s plans will still prevail.”

We need to talk to ourselves with the same love and compassion we would have for our children when they are overwhelmed.

Posted in Lessons He Taught Me

Praise & Thanksgiving

Do you find yourself stuck on negative thinking more than you are stuck on the blessings God has bestowed on you? Do you pray for God to renew your mind but wonder why it’s not happening? These verses are like a recipe to overcoming those feelings and thoughts. These verses have gotten me through some of the hardest times of my life because I was taught by some godly women to practice living this out. At times, I’ve had to force myself to thank & praise God aloud for every little and big thing that He has given me no matter how I was feeling. This includes thanking Him for my little 2 bedroom apartment which is our home & my oasis, thanking Him for my car that runs perfectly, for heated seats, my providing me with enough interpreting assignments to sustain my daughter & I, for time spent with my daughter scrapbooking, for the constant support of family, for the soothing salt lamp Mr. Drew got me for Christmas and the fresh aroma of french roast coffee brewing in the morning. And the list can go on and on as you know. After doing this and then beginning to pray for people He has placed on my mind, I feel like I am literally lite up, shining up at my Father as he’s shining down at me. My burdens are lifted and my trust in God is rock solid. Praise and thanksgiving is the best, but perhaps the most underutilized anti-anxiety medication out there. Just recently, I woke up feeling a little melancholy and I told myself, “Ok, I need to go sit on my couch and make time with God.” When I was done praying and thanking Him for every little thing I could think of, there was zero sadness left. Thanking Him reminded me of all the good things in my life from God and it pleases Him to hear me recognizing how he cares for me. We were created to worship Him. It keeps me connected to him and strengthens me to keep walking with Him. The worship is for Him but it’s for me, too. It’s pretty amazing when I think about all the things that are being accomplished as I sit on my couch to pray. This post is a great reminder to myself to do what I KNOW will help me connect with God and be healed every time the apprehension rears it’s ugly head. I’m so thankful to God, too, that he is healing the people he wants me to pray for as well. I pray this post will be an encouraging reminder to you also.

Love & peace,

Angie