via Daily Prompt: Wonder
This little girl of mine fills me with so much adoration and wonder. As I watch her off and on throughout the day, I’m in awe of who she has become. I think back to her quirky days as a toddler and the funny things she used to say as she was first developing language.
“Mama, I can feel my heart beeping!!”
Or how she would recognize the appropriate time to show appreciation and joyfully exclaim, “Thankum!” (Which meant “Thank you!”)
And I remember her at around 2 years old when she would speak so quickly I’d have to interpret for my friends because they had no idea what she just said.
One afternoon in the spring there was a little girl, maybe 4 or 5 years older than my daughter, who started playing with Makayla in our yard. They tried to strike up a conversation and after a few minutes the little girl looked at me strangely and asked, “Is she speaking Chinese??” It was funny because Makayla wasn’t quite 2 at that time and whatever she said to the neighbor girl really did sound like Chinese to me, too.
Now, she’s going to be 11 in less than a month and she’s so articulate. Since she was 4, people have noticed what a great memory she has for things and a vocabulary that you wouldn’t expect from someone so small. At almost 11, people don’t notice these things as much because she’s older now and it sort of goes along with her age.
She’s more independent than ever and knows exactly who she is. There is no shy bone in her body. She can definitely hold her own. And she is a bright, radiant light. I look at her full of love and wonder. It’s still hard to believe she’s mine.
If my daughter was in my shoes right now, this is what I would tell her,
“Everyone needs some time to themselves. It’s perfectly normal. People push our buttons sometimes and a little break to do your own thing is healthy. Most likely, it will improve the relationship you are feeling frustrated with. There’s no reason to feel guilty when you just don’t feel like talking. Or maybe you want to talk to someone else that you haven’t talked to in ages. Also, normal. We’re all so different from each other. There are things we like about people in our lives that draws us to them just as there are things about the same people we’re not crazy about. We just need to have grace for each other but also be honest with ourselves when we need to pull back. If we don’t do it, you’ll have to do damage repair later. Some people don’t take honesty well. They just want you to not feel how you feel and get over it immediately. Most people need time so you take the time you need and remember to give others time to themselves too when they feel hurt by you. If you don’t or if you do, it can make or break a relationship.
Limiting the time you spend with one person can also help. You have more to talk about later when you come back together. The energy you get from being with a variety of other people can breathe life into that relationship that sometimes gets a little strained. It also fosters more positive feelings and conversation.
What’s most important is being restored by God and having enough opportunities to be restored by Him! Your relationship with God is the most important relationship in your life. If there’s not enough time with Him for your personality type (and I need a lot of time with Him), it will affect your relationships with people because your patience for people will start to diminish. You might start saying the first thing on your mind. You might just throw the towel in out of frustration and miss them later. And, then, you’ll also remember God’s command to encourage one another and build them up, realizing that you didn’t do that because you leaned back on your own wisdom.
Take some time to yourself, Makayla, when you know you need to be restored. Try your best to tell whoever that person in your life is, that you need time to yourself and time with God. Pray beforehand that this person will understand it will benefit them, too. That they will love you enough to give you what you need and that they’ll be confident enough in the Lord to trust Him. You serve God first and foremost. This is what you need to focus on. God’s plans will still prevail.”
We need to talk to ourselves with the same love and compassion we would have for our children when they are overwhelmed.
I woke up this morning to the screaming of my house phone. I didn’t know what was happening as my dreams were fighting with reality and I was struggling to figure out which was which. As I scrambled off the couch, I worked hard to figure out where the phone was as I simultaneously tried to keep my balance. I was so sick I thought I was going fall over. My body was wet with perspiration, my head & face hurt, I was coughing like an old woman with emphysema and I still had body aches. When I found the phone, I was more happy to stop the ringing than I was to find out who was calling.
It turned out to be my father on the other line, checking in to see how I was doing and if I was going to work today. It was 8 o’clock. Why hadn’t my alarm gone off? The night before, I had asked my daughter to turn my alarm on. She had some trouble with it so I went in to check that the right time was set for it to wail. It wasn’t the right time so I fixed it but I didn’t look to see if she had mistakenly changed the current time.. Ahhh…that’s what went wrong. Note to self, I need to teach my 10 year old how to use an alarm clock. Preferably when I’m not deliriously sick. Thank God, her Grandpa was willing to drop her off at school. Thank God, I have such supportive parents.
As I started making her sandwich, Makayla told me in her chipper way, “I thought I wanted to stay home to take care of you today, but I’m really happy I’m going to school! I’m really happy I’m going to school for 2 reasons! Do you wanna know what they are?! One, it’s Manny Monday, that means my class gets to see a new picture of baby Manny on the Classroom Dojo that Mrs. Ruiz sends. Also, I won’t miss the next chapter in Wonder that Mrs. Pelaz is going to read and on Monday we do a craft. OH! And we have PE today!”
“I’m so glad you have such great teachers and that you love the things you’re doing in school. You’re kinda making me wish I was in the fifth grade again, ” I chuckled, not mentioning that she actually gave me 4 fantastic reasons to go to school. Her joy and excitement was so contagious, I couldn’t help but give her a kiss on her forehead and a side-ways hug. She has the amazing ability to make me smile and remember the lovable things about life even when I’m sick.